I just cut my nipple shaving
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
