Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
