Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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