i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.