I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.