STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
