So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
