My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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