Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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