so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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