I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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