Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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