i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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