it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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