Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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