can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
