A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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