Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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