hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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