what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
