I'm so fucking centered right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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