I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
