meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
