their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I am morally bankrupt
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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