Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
