don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
