I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this boner is exhausting
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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