i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
