do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
