Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.