I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.