i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off