I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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