Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2