i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.