she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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