ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
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I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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