I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
