I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
