I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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