I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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