I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
