Don't you send me to vm
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
