I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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