I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize