i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
