he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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