ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
