just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
