don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
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You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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