break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
