Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
