You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
