Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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