I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
