the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
