Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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