So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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