Just cropdusted the office
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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