I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We left the knife in your bed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
