so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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