YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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