You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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