You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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