I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
