Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
