Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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