I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
