i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
that may or may not have been my penis.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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