she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
