hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
