Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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