ADVERTISEMENT

• (469): View more from Texas

  just do it

  (1-469): View more from Texas

  fine only cuz shes asian

  Fav 5 1558 824

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,

  Fav 35 1716 2428

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (224): View more from Illinois

  She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

  Fav 24 912 5405

  share tweet
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

  Fav 44 7986 2527

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.

  Fav 9 4429 1226

  share tweet
  

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.

  Fav 12 1441 1003

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (386): View more from Florida

  I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness

  Fav 17 3546 1136

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.

  Fav 5 1760 1119

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

  Fav 10 1544 895

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (831): View more from California

  if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please

  Fav 11 1663 872

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.

  Fav 13 1415 743

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

  Fav 3 974 581

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to

  Fav 6 745 919

  share tweet
  

• (858): View more from California

  someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..

  Fav 1 807 573

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.

  Fav 2 39 3

  share tweet
  

Randomize