Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American. http://tfl.nu/c8e4
  Replies (15) Good night (3961) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business. http://tfl.nu/ppsa
  Replies (34) Good night (5141) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wtf, did you fuck a retard?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape (617): wtf, did you fuck a retard?! http://tfl.nu/q1iv
  Replies (11) Good night (846) Bad night (4120)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive? http://tfl.nu/xcbd
  Replies (14) Good night (3618) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped. http://tfl.nu/y7kh
  Replies (14) Good night (835) Bad night (3601)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  what was i wearing?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress' (508): what was i wearing? (203): nothing http://tfl.nu/2bg6
  Replies (22) Good night (14894) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY. http://tfl.nu/obak
  Replies (7) Good night (4331) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today" http://tfl.nu/6cpx
  Replies (30) Good night (1412) Bad night (7447)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes. http://tfl.nu/b96e
  Replies (2) Good night (2032) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know http://tfl.nu/g581
  Replies (7) Good night (2077) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito? http://tfl.nu/ycrz
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity? http://tfl.nu/1m4t
  Replies (7) Good night (1874) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/jl72
  Replies (6) Good night (373) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers. http://tfl.nu/w57w
  Replies (7) Good night (1981) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical... http://tfl.nu/b9b8
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (226)

Randomize