Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I can't open my eyes

(925): View more from California

Lol why not?

(808): View more from Hawaii

Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk

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(808) I can't open my eyes (925) Lol why not? (808) Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/5iv9

Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (1219)
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(541): View more from Oregon

for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college

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(541): for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college http://tfl.nu/6h6z

Replies (30) Good night (8873) Bad night (612)
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(619): View more from California

I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.

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(619): I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated. http://tfl.nu/km5l

Replies (27) Good night (8792) Bad night (684)
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(805): View more from California

woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

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(805): woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream." http://tfl.nu/w9nn

Replies (11) Good night (4493) Bad night (976)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?

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(203): walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something? http://tfl.nu/j190

Replies (27) Good night (7873) Bad night (1356)
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(425): View more from Washington

It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

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(425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z

Replies (7) Good night (5731) Bad night (1834)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

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(313): Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/j0gt

Replies (20) Good night (4572) Bad night (998)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.

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(856): it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar. http://tfl.nu/5cy5

Replies (6) Good night (4150) Bad night (1714)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment

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(314): I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment http://tfl.nu/5u6p

Replies (11) Good night (4851) Bad night (766)
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(830): View more from Texas

I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call

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(830): I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call http://tfl.nu/cgsl

Replies (12) Good night (897) Bad night (2467)
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(979): View more from Texas

Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

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(979): Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/s5ox

Replies (14) Good night (2248) Bad night (661)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no

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(720): You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no http://tfl.nu/o8fg

Replies (3) Good night (2306) Bad night (529)
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(818): View more from California

So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

(323): View more from California

Gross

(818): View more from California

AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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(818): So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth (323): Gross (818): AN ACTUAL PICKLE http://tfl.nu/hdiy

Replies (7) Good night (1876) Bad night (540)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?

(614): View more from Ohio

Your word choices worry me.

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(520): Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants? (614): Your word choices worry me. http://tfl.nu/ader

Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (318)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?

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(601): It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/jgb0

Replies (2) Good night (434) Bad night (173)

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