Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk

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(404): Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk http://tfl.nu/cgrv

Replies (5) Good night (2482) Bad night (664)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

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(412): I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here. http://tfl.nu/0gmn

Replies (8) Good night (2513) Bad night (974)
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(515): View more from Iowa

we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar

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(515): we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar http://tfl.nu/51mn

Replies (10) Good night (2244) Bad night (988)
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(314): View more from Missouri

The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl

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(314): The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl http://tfl.nu/c78c

Replies (6) Good night (947) Bad night (1474)
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(954): View more from Florida

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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(954): The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that http://tfl.nu/l3dv

Replies (9) Good night (890) Bad night (509)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I pray for you bro.

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(609): I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place. (215): I pray for you bro. http://tfl.nu/qs2m

Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (638)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up

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(850): I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up http://tfl.nu/4e9b

Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (320)
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(61): View more from Australia

When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"

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(61): When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town" http://tfl.nu/opr7

Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (291)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!

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(859): How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair! http://tfl.nu/4980

Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (298)
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(903): View more from Texas

I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED

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(903): I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED http://tfl.nu/wpbt

Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (261)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????

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(330): Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this???? http://tfl.nu/uhtc

Replies (9) Good night (323) Bad night (1056)
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(562): View more from California

Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.

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(562): Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works. http://tfl.nu/5yc6

Replies (3) Good night (234) Bad night (544)
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(248): View more from Michigan

you take my contact solution?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.

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(248): you take my contact solution? (1-248): drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride. http://tfl.nu/mr4a

Replies (4) Good night (289) Bad night (632)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it

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(724): My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe. (1-724): I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it http://tfl.nu/uinn

Replies (5) Good night (729) Bad night (232)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"

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(301): Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one" http://tfl.nu/uk9s

Replies (0) Good night (577) Bad night (171)

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