Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?

  (516): View more from New York

  nope.

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  (631): she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"? (516): nope. http://tfl.nu/1bih
  Replies (21) Good night (1322) Bad night (4409)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..

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  (425): there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room.. http://tfl.nu/dpny
  Replies (17) Good night (5837) Bad night (1125)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.

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  (734): Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success. http://tfl.nu/ji3r
  Replies (10) Good night (1936) Bad night (959)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.

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  (802): I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me. http://tfl.nu/p69o
  Replies (11) Good night (1121) Bad night (3057)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?

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  (250): Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila? http://tfl.nu/i07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1841) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.

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  (850): They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here. http://tfl.nu/6x4c
  Replies (3) Good night (2629) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.

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  (828): It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack. http://tfl.nu/89f8
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.

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  (303): His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed. http://tfl.nu/yv11
  Replies (8) Good night (3646) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (4082) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.

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  (515): It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them. http://tfl.nu/9jno
  Replies (6) Good night (1267) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Thanks for fucking me in last night

  (435): View more from Utah

  TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT

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  (435): Thanks for fucking me in last night (435): TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/3wzm
  Replies (10) Good night (1641) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard

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  (416): You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard http://tfl.nu/zjmt
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.

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  (704): I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car. http://tfl.nu/x1gt
  Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup

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  (403): i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup http://tfl.nu/p8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift

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  (805): I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift http://tfl.nu/may0
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (295)

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