she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.