ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers