Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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