Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
what is it with giant penises always finding me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
