i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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