You're completely useless in the revolution.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
