I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
