he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
